OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.