Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
smell my finger.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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