He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
