He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Do vagina's smell?
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
