Jerry, you need to find god
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
