your room smells of hookers.
And success
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
