just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
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