Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I accidentally burped into my bong.
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
birth control should be required to get into college
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
