you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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