From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
