dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize
