i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
