And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
