I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize