we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
