I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
