I'd wear matching sweaters with you
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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