I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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