hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
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