Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
