i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
