I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
