The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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