Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
