I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
