sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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