oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
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