i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Randomize
