Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
