just come out here and I will go home with you...
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
