the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
