yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Randomize
