Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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