I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
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