I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
