Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
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