is your mom at the bar?
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
