mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Randomize
