Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
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