i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
