i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
