I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
cat food counts as protein by the way
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
How external is "for external use only"?
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
Randomize
