Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Randomize
