toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
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