dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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