Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Randomize
