Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
