remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
