I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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