it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
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I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
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In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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