At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
