we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
