so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
