I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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