I wanna bring you to show and tell
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
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I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Is it penis luge time yet?
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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