And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Me. At least after what I've been through.
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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