Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
