Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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