what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Randomize
