AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
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