she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
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