Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
only if we run a train.
done.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize
