sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
