swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just high enough for therapy.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize