So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
operation have a gay friend backfired
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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